Monday, 9 November 2015

15 things anyone who has been to a Nigerian Airport will understand

1. When they tell you to come 2 hours before your flight.

When they tell you to come 2 hours before your flight.
Am I the pilot?

2. When someone tries to help you carry your luggage by force.

When someone tries to help you carry your luggage by force.
Who sent you message?

3. When you enter and the smell of stockfish hits you.

When you enter and the smell of stockfish hits you.
Na wa. Don’t they sell stockfish where you people are going?

4. When every other check-in queue is short but your own is long.

When every other check-in queue is short but your own is long.
See me see trouble.

5. When someone tries to cut in front of you on the line.

When someone tries to cut in front of you on the line.
Sorry oh! The rest of us on the queue must look like moi-moi to you.

6. "I'm coming, please help me watch my bag."

Do you know me from somewhere?

7. When they are weighing your bag and you start praying against extra luggage.

When they are weighing your bag and you start praying against extra luggage.
God please, I’m broke.

8. When an airport staff asks "anything for us?"

When an airport staff asks
Are you my child?

9. When the announcer's accent sounds like it's from a completely different planet.

When the announcer's accent sounds like it's from a completely different planet.
“Hartenshorn pliz, deezis a bordin hannounzmen for Earo Contractor flai 364 tew Laygorz…”

10. When you see someone that has overdressed.

When you see someone that has overdressed.
Clap for yourself, na you get the whole airport.

11. When they tell you to take off your shoes.

When they tell you to take off your shoes.
The absolute worst.

12. When they start touching you anyhow on top security protocol.

When they start touching you anyhow on top security protocol.
Take it easy, abeg.

13. When they try to force you to check in your hand luggage.

When they try to force you to check in your hand luggage.
It’s like your daddy is mad.

14. When they announce that your flight has been delayed.

When they announce that your flight has been delayed.
Of course it has.

15. When you're hungry and you hear the price of airport food.

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